4 Money Management Tips for Couples

Ask any long-time couple how to build a lasting relationship, and their advice centers on one pillar: communication. Money management for couples hinges on the same thing.  

While the sentiment to “talk openly and honestly” can seem like a platitude, it’s harder in practice. How do you talk to your significant other about money, especially with conflicting experiences and goals?  

Our advisors offer their insights about how to manage money as a couple.  

“Building a healthy financial foundation with your significant other is one of the most important things you can do for your relationship. The number one thing I share with clients is to have regular, open communication about your finances, goals, and struggles so that both partners are on the same page about budgeting, saving, and investing.” – Cameron Magoon, Wealth Advisor 

“Open dialogue about finances, including strengths and weaknesses, is key to making sure you’re on the same page as your significant other and working toward the same goals. Become a financial team, and don’t let stress over money come between you!” – Adam Lisowsky, Wealth Manager 

“Just one person doing the finances is never a good idea. It reduces stress and strengthens the relationship when you both work together to resolve possible shortfalls and allocate surplus funds.” – Kentrina Mapes, Financial Advisor 

“Couples who come together as a team with a shared set of goals often have the best outcomes. If your family can agree on a set of goals and stick to the necessary plan to achieve them, it will enable you to reach the financial freedom your family deserves.”

– Chris Gautier, Wealth Advisor – Private Wealth 

Per our advisors’ insights, there are three reasons to communicate about money:  

1. To mitigate stress (which most couples could use less of) 
2. To foster cohesion (which most couples could use more of) 
3. To increase your chances of success (which all couples want) 

Maybe you’ve never had this dynamic with your significant other, and you assume, “If it’s not broken, why fix it?” 

Not only will you miss out on the benefits above — less stress, more cohesion, and better odds of success — but if you are the person who manages the finances, it is an act of love to get your significant other on board in case anything happens to you.  

Once you embrace the why of good financial communication, you might not know what to discuss. Here are three main topics:  

“Start by addressing your views of money from childhood. Most decisions about finances are deeply rooted in a person’s experiences. When two people come together, each party assumes the other has a similar view and understanding.” – Doug Lockwood, Wealth Manager 

“Too often, couples jump straight to the logistics — how much to save, what to cut, how to invest — without ever addressing the underlying beliefs and behaviors that shape financial habits. I advise couples to sit down and discuss:

 

• What was money like growing up? How did your parents handle finances?
• What financial habits have you inherited (good or bad)?
• What does financial security mean to you?
• What’s the one thing you never want to experience financially?

This conversation fosters understanding, not judgment.” – Christopher Bredeson, Wealth Advisor  

We ask clients, “What is your earliest memory of money?” Each person’s response — the jobs they had, how their parents talked about money, how they viewed their family’s financial situation, their experiences with saving and spending — will impact their finances and relationships today, for better or worse.  

Some people assume rehashing the past is irrelevant to financial planning, but acknowledging each person’s prior experiences creates clarity and connection. For example: 

• • You can respect how your significant other is slow to discuss finances when you know their parents treated it as an off-limits topic growing up.   
  • You and your spouse can exchange memories of watching your parents save for and achieve big goals, giving you hope and excitement about what you can accomplish. 
  • Your spouse can understand your worries about paying for medical expenses when you share that you watched your grandparents struggle to pay for necessary medication and procedures as they aged.  

“We all come from different walks of life and have varying experiences with money. Like most relationship issues, it’s important to set the foundation by being open and honest about each other’s goals. Only then can you identify a middle ground and a plan for accomplishing what’s most important as a unit.” – Chad Baxter, Advanced Planning Advisor 

“Financial goals and decisions are some of the most significant choices we make in our lives. As such, it is completely normal to have differing views within a household. Think about it: it’s rare for everyone to agree on what to have for dinner! The crucial factor I help clients with is establishing an open and honest way to communicate these ideas so everyone is empowered to take ownership of the family’s financial decisions. With proper planning, there is often a way to accomplish all goals, but it starts with open and honest communication about what those goals are.” – Chris Gautier, Wealth Advisor – Private Wealth 

It’s healthy to air your differences and acknowledge where you and your significant other diverge. What do you each value? What do you each want to accomplish? What do you not agree on? 

This conversation is not meant to encourage division but to serve as a prerequisite to setting your financial direction together.  

“It’s common for couples to have different financial goals — my husband and I experience this! You can have separate goals as long as they’re mutually beneficial and align with your broader financial picture. Sometimes, our personal values or past experiences shape our goals, and it helps to see things from each other’s perspective. Open communication is key here: when both partners understand each other’s priorities, you can work together to find a balance that supports both personal and shared financial aspirations. Ultimately, it’s about being open, listening, and figuring out how your individual goals fit into the bigger picture.”

– McKenna Clifford, Wealth Manager 

“I generally stress unity before action. I advise no significant action if there is not unity of heart and mind. If differing goals persist for a while, maybe a compromise can accommodate a portion of each person’s goal until fuller unity can be reached.” – Brian Davis, Wealth Manager 

“Money is deeply personal, and when two people bring different financial goals into a relationship, it’s not a problem; it’s an opportunity for alignment. The key is to shift the mindset from my goals vs your goals to our goals. We start by identifying common ground. What are the non-negotiables? What future milestones do you both care about, like retirement, homeownership, travel, and your children’s education? From there, we establish a shared financial vision while carving out space for individual priorities. It’s about balance and having a working financial relationship. A joint plan doesn’t mean giving up personal goals — it means integrating them into a larger strategy that serves the household.”  – Christopher Bredeson, Wealth Advisor 

Even if you and your spouse maintain your own beliefs and goals, aim for alignment. Build a unified plan that makes room for your differences while keeping you on the same path. This alignment might require work, hard conversations, and compromise, but it will allow you to take confident action together.

“Ask our Great Goals of Life questions, which center on: 

 

1. Retirement goals
2. Family, such as kids’ expenses with schooling and daycare
3. Plans to take care of family members outside the home, such as aging parents
4. Charitable giving (whether its church or other)
5. Risks with disability and healthcare needs
6. Legacy planning.” – Doug Lockwood, Wealth Manager 

“A misconception people have about finances and relationships is that everybody already has an idea of where they are and where they want to go, financially speaking. Financial planning can help provide clarity and attempt to bring cohesion for a couple, especially when it’s the first time they see everything in one place and the impact of it all. We are not marriage counselors, but I have many clients who might disagree and say our meetings are sometimes ‘good therapy sessions.’”– Brad Michels, Wealth Manager 

If you aren’t sure how to approach financial conversations with your spouse, consider using a framework of questions and/or the guidance of a third party. 

Structure keeps the conversation focused, and outside experts can provide insights, ideas for compromise, and an impartial perspective. Whether you lean into the Great Goals of Life framing we use at Credent or another resource, find a way to guide your communication. 

“Many couples never have the initial conversation about their relationship with money (spending/saving) before they commit to each other. Finances need to be discussed early in a relationship to mitigate future financial arguments and create better financial health for the couple.” – Todd Hartsough, Wealth Advisor 

“One of the biggest mistakes people make with finances is to assume, ‘We’ll figure it out. Once we’re married, it will just work itself out.’ No, it won’t — not without some blood, sweat, and tears along the way. Put in the hard work early to avoid more painful work later on.” – Brian Davis, Wealth Manager

“Set aside a regular time, whether monthly, quarterly, or at the very least yearly, to talk to each other about the numbers — what’s coming in, what’s going out, what your short-term plans are, and what your long-term plans are. Set goals, talk about those goals with each other, and celebrate the wins.” – Kentrina Mapes, Financial Advisor 

Financial conversations should happen early and often. 

Don’t wait until you’re married, until your first kid, or until a big financial milestone (or mishap) to discuss your financial past, present, and future.  

In addition, life changes, so maintain a healthy financial relationship with regular check-ins.  

“Poor communication can lead to unmet expectations, which compounds on itself. The dollars are the symptoms, but the underlying issue is communication and expectations.” – Brian Davis, Wealth Manager 

Without intention and work, you’ll be left with unmet expectations in your relationships, especially when it comes to your finances.  

Instead, by addressing the why, what, how, and when of money management for couples, you can build a life that is meaningful and fruitful alongside the person you love. 

To get an expert opinion on your relationship’s financial health, reach out using the form below.